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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28559856">Learning firsthand</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/prototyping/pseuds/prototyping'>prototyping</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Code:Realize ～創世の姫君～ | Code: Realize - Guardian of Rebirth (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Budding Love, F/M, I'll let you figure out which is which, Pre-Relationship, but Feelings are happening, one is unaware while the other's in denial, or budding friendship at this point</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 01:07:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,569</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28559856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/prototyping/pseuds/prototyping</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He was a strict teacher, but not a punishing one. He taught her at a realistic pace and, judging by the thin-lipped not-quite-smiles he continued to give her, she was keeping up as expected.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cardia Beckford/Abraham Van Helsing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Learning firsthand</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Again.”</p>
<p>Cardia withdrew a step, dropping her arms to her sides as she moved back into starting position. She watched Van Helsing level his gun at her nose－not one of his usual shotguns, but a small pistol－and paused just long enough to draw a quick breath.</p>
<p>Then she moved, jerking her head to the side as her hand came up and clamped down on the gun’s barrel, forcing it away from her. Her free hand slammed the inside of his wrist, she felt his grip loosen, and with a hard twist she wrenched the weapon away from him and took a quick step back to point the muzzle at his chest.</p>
<p>It was over in a heartbeat, but she held off any sense of accomplishment as she watched his face for a sign－approval, disappointment, or anything in between. When the firm line of his mouth softened slightly and his thin eyes relaxed, she felt relief swell in her chest.</p>
<p>“Just like that,” he commended. His tone carried the same disinterested lilt as always, but Cardia had grown accustomed to it enough to detect something else in those few words. Maybe nothing as blatant as pride, but he was clearly satisfied with her progress.</p>
<p>Even so, Van Helsing took the gun back and repeated, “Again.”</p>
<p>They practiced the maneuver for a while longer. Just because she felt comfortable with a technique now, he had explained, didn’t mean it was an ingrained reflex just like that. She would still have to practice these basics frequently, even when they moved on to more complex maneuvers.</p>
<p>He tested her by weaving previous lessons in with this one. She had to adapt on the fly, at times prompted by his command directly and at others being forced to read his body language with no more than a second to react. It was nothing close to a real battle, but the variety of his attacks made her brain work in a way it hadn’t done before, thinking one or two steps ahead before she had even finished her first movement. Even when she slipped up or made a wrong move, she would deduce aloud what she did wrong, he would offer pointers, and she would try again. Van Helsing didn’t linger on her mistakes, so she quickly learned not to stew too long on them, either. With every wrong choice came the chance to learn from it. <em>That’s what training is for</em>, he told her.</p>
<p>Mistake, correction, improvement, repeat.</p>
<p>Despite her uncertainty at the start, Cardia found herself feeling more confident in herself and her growing skill this way.</p>
<p>It was tiring work, even for her, but this was the first time she made it through a training session of his without being overwhelmed. She could tell he was going easy on her, of course－she doubted any of these moves would actually work on <em>him</em> if this were a real confrontation－but she also detected that he was pushing her harder than before. He was a strict teacher, but not a punishing one. He taught her at a realistic pace and, judging by the thin-lipped not-quite-smiles he continued to give her, she was keeping up as expected.</p>
<p>“That’s enough for today,” he announced finally. Cardia relaxed, the fatigue in her heavy joints hitting her in full as the last of her mild adrenaline rush faded. She was sore in a number of places that would probably bruise later, but that was expected, she figured. She could handle a few bumps and scrapes－and while she didn’t know it then, she would examine those bruises on her skin later that night and feel a small trickle of pride. As childish as it probably was, they would feel like badges of honor declaring her progress.</p>
<p>She would also find longer bruises just above her elbow, in the shape of Van Helsing’s strong fingers, where they had grasped her enough times that afternoon to leave a mark－and then she would feel a flicker of something else entirely, a very different sensation that she had no name for.</p>
<p>“You should practice daily,” he told her. His gun seemed to disappear in the time it took her to blink, stowed away in his coat somewhere. “Even if it’s just running through the motions by yourself for a few minutes, it will help with developing your muscle memory.”</p>
<p>“Alright. I will.”</p>
<p>He gave her an approving nod, and then silently moved past her. As they did after every session, she fell into step beside him, letting him escort her back to the mansion before he likely departed for some private business or other in the city.</p>
<p>“Am I going to learn to actually shoot?” she wondered. “You said before that weapons can make an amateur feel too confident, but since you’re teaching me to disarm, anyway…” Part of that included holding her attacker at gunpoint, if needed, long enough to escape or stall for time. He hadn’t expanded beyond that so far, but it seemed like a logical step, especially since she had overcome much of her previous discomfort around such weapons thanks to him.</p>
<p>Van Helsing shot her a sidelong glance, but he answered with a question. “Have you ever used your poison against someone intentionally, for the purpose of hurting them?”</p>
<p>She frowned. “No.”</p>
<p>He stopped mid-step and turned to her. “Would you? If, let’s say, I was your opponent, and the basic skills you’ve learned weren’t enough to protect yourself. If you knew surrendering wasn’t a viable option, and I didn’t know about your poison. Could you bring yourself to use it against me in self-defense?”</p>
<p>When she didn’t answer immediately, he waited, his expression still and untelling. Cardia wasn’t sure what he wanted to hear, but she wouldn’t lie just to please him.</p>
<p>“I… I don’t know,” she admitted quietly. Her eyes fell to his chest. “You told me that it’s harder to think straight in a real life-or-death situation… that it’s important to stay calm, because I could panic and act rashly regardless of my training. I… haven’t been in that sort of situation yet, but…” Her frown deepened. “Based on how I feel <em>now,</em> I think... no, I wouldn’t do it.” The very thought of harming another person with her poison－<em>again</em>－made her chest tighten and her stomach turn. “But I’m not sure what I would do if I were truly fighting for my life.”</p>
<p>“So you’d prefer not to use it,” he deduced.</p>
<p>“Right. If I did… it would be my very last resort, like you suggested. But even then...” She would much rather avoid it entirely. Even if someone was deliberately trying to harm her, like those men she’d encountered when she first arrived in Steel London－their screams still echoed in her head, their wide-eyed stares of terror and hatred burned into her memory along with many, many others. Perhaps she was being selfish, but her reluctance stemmed largely from her fear of experiencing that sort of hostility again. Of being reminded of what she really was.</p>
<p>After a short stretch of silence, Cardia raised her head. Van Helsing’s arms were crossed, but his gaze had turned away from her in thought.</p>
<p>“Then no,” he answered. “I’ll continue teaching you hand-to-hand techniques, but not shooting.”</p>
<p>That was just fine with her, but she couldn’t help her curious expression. What about her answer had made him decide?</p>
<p>As if reading her mind, he explained, “Regardless of the method, taking a life is still taking a life. If you’re afraid of what your poison can do, then you should fear a bullet just as much. It kills faster and it’s easier to misuse on accident. Especially under pressure.”</p>
<p>“I see…” Turning that answer over for a moment, Cardia quickly decided it was satisfactory and nodded with a small smile. “Thank you, Van Helsing.”</p>
<p>He looked puzzled. “For what?”</p>
<p>“You’re looking out for me, aren’t you? You could have said that I should fight to stay alive no matter what, whether it means using a gun or my poison on another person. But you asked how I feel about it instead.” Her smile grew. “Thank you for considering my feelings.”</p>
<p>For an instant his eyes hardened as he stared at her, but she didn’t sense any anger behind it. Just as quickly, he looked away again with a nearly imperceptible noise in his throat. “It only makes sense to teach you as far as your mental capabilities allow. A skill you can’t bring yourself to use is no skill at all.”</p>
<p>Cardia held back a soft laugh, but only barely. She had the feeling he wouldn’t like that. “I understand.”</p>
<p>“Good.” Van Helsing continued on his way. She caught up easily. “I’ll show you how to handle recoil, just in case you ever have to shoot in a pinch,” he added. “But that’s it.”</p>
<p>For some reason, that idea pleased her in a way she couldn’t describe. She supposed it was most accurate to say she was looking forward to it, but she looked forward to all their lessons. Maybe that hint of acknowledgement in his promise, the implication that he had more respect for her ability than before, had something to do with it.</p>
<p>Maybe that was what made her stomach flutter as she beamed up at him, quickening her pace to keep up with his long strides.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>prologue!Cardia: hurting people with my poison is my ultimate fear :(</p>
<p>endgame!Cardia in Van Helsing's route: bitch I will not hesitate</p></blockquote></div></div>
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